For the first three Fridays of every month, the women of WonderStrange Arts bring you projects to make, techniques to try, and feltie patterns that are so flipping cute they have already caused six deaths nationwide. By the final Friday of the month, we’re tired, so we take turns writing blog posts, and this week falls to me, or as my friends sometimes call me, Ann. Sure, I (the Ann me) could take this opportunity to review a new product or conduct a chemical comparison of glue sticks, but on this particular Fourth Friday, it’s National Stupid Question Day. No, seriously. It is. To celebrate, I solicited stupid questions from friends and followers, and here are some of our favorites.
“Why is this called Wonderstrange?” – scrapunzel1
Great question! In Hamlet, Horatio says, “O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!” Because our work is offbeat, we loved the idea of calling ourselves “Wondrous Strange,” but we were afraid that when we said that out loud, the conversation would go like this:
Us: “OMG! We started a business selling art on the interwebz! [High kick]”
Friends: “OMG! [High kick] What’s it called?”
Us: “Wondrous Strange! [Poms]”
Friend: ” Wondra what? [Confused half pom]”
Us: “Wondrouss [long pause] Strange.”
Us: “It’s from Shakespeare.”
To avoid that whole awkward deal, someone suggested Wonderstrange, and we loved it so much we wanted to marry it.
I was wondering…How can someone “draw a blank”?- Grandma Lee
Lee, I’m so glad you asked this very important stupid question. The preferred method here at wonderstrange is to draw it nice and big using pastels and plenty of fixative. Once you’re finished, people should be able to “see the big picture.” (If not, we know a very nice optometrist to help them out.)
When did you Ladies start seeing the world different? I am the same way, if only I could draw what is in my head… 🙂 – shuckclod
shuckclod, drawing the things that live in one’s head is a slippery slope of zombie parts and anemic little girls who build castles out of toaster waffles. That said, Sarah’s answer, which was in no way cribbed from a pop song, is “Baby, I was born this way” – which might explain why she almost burned down her school in third grade and is still wearing a mohawk. I mostly suppressed my strange until I went away to college, where I had an epiphany while standing on top of a booth in Clarke’s restaurant. (Hey, that’s how 18-year-olds have epiphanies: By acting like asses.)
For her part, Cindy made her nonconformist tendencies a matter of public record in kindergarten when she refused to color a fruit worksheet according to the directions. Her teacher made her do the assignment twice before calling Cindy’s mother, who calmly pointed out that Cindy could read entire books. The problem wasn’t word recognition; Cindy simply didn’t want to color the apple red and the orange orange. Teetering on the brink of madness, Cindy’s teacher said, “But don’t you want your sheet to look like all the other ones when we hang them up?” Cindy said, “No. I want it to look like mine.” Don’t mess with Texas – or Cindy Jo Blair!
Would you ever consider getting a tattoo of Tattoo from Fantasy Island? – Eric H
Categorically speaking, Eric, yes. Except. Cindy’s daughter’s won’t let her, Sarah already has one, and at the very last second, I decided to spring for Mr. Roarke.
And by the way, Sarah is opening her own tattoo shop in Filmore, NY, so she can totally give you a tattoo of Tattoo if you don’t mind traveling.
What color would you get when you mix fuchsia, puce, and ultramarine blue?- debs913
This was the subject of some internal debate, debs. I think you’d get a lovely, complex shade of Mostly Decayed Smurf Corpse, but our resident art teacher (namely, Cindy) says “a very dirty brush.”
Why is it that they say when you meet the right person, you know immediately that you’re right together, but when you meet the wrong person, it takes a year and a half? – Todd
In a word, Todd, wheat germ. That, and the crippling fear of loneliness, which you can sneak into your kids’ smoothies without their ever knowing it as long as you include some extra strawberries.
How long was the Hundred Years War? – MrElbows
Is this a trick stupid question? It lasted 116 years. The person who named it was either bad at math or in a hurry to go buy stuff from Wondertrange.
Effing magnets, how do they work? – Joe
Well, Joe, we know you don’t want to talk to a scientist, so try a visit to the North Pole. Santa will explain everything – and you can steal us a reindeer. (Please?)
WWCND? – ConnIe
What would a confused narwhal do? ConnIe, this is a terrible principle by which to live your life. Confused narwhals have lowered inhibitions, no sense of their own mortality, and that big long tooth that everyone thinks is a horn. They’ll try anything once, even Spicy Hawaiian Style Hot Pockets. Far be it from us to dictate your personal spiritual compass, but please. Think it over.
(Sarah here. I figured that was “what would a clown nudist do?” and I really REALLY don’t want to know. I’m happier than ever that there is no room for naked clowns under my bed.)
We are happy to award a free digi to scrapunzel1, shuckclod, and Grandma Lee! Browse the shop, make a selection, and email the name of the stamp you want to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks to everyone who played along, and come back next Friday, when I’ll show you how to make these!