When I last went to Goodwill, I found a huge canvas for $2.99. No, seriously.
This huge canvas appealed to me because lately, I’ve had my eye on this enormous $120 dollar sign that says
At first, I thought, “I’ll make my own and save $117!” But I couldn’t bring myself to take another artist’s idea, even for my own personal non-commercial use, so I scrapped that in favor of painting a rebus, by which I mean the sort of “puzzle” in which an illustration of a bee stands in for the word “be.” Remember those?
I planned to paint BEE + EWE + TEA, at least until that idea stopped speaking to me. Instead, I settled on BEE + EWE, after which, as you will see, it became a sort of message from my subconscious to myself.
This is the point when my husband walked up and said, “Oh baby! Is it okay to be you even if you’re sad? Is it okay just to be sad and not put on a clown nose and a party hat and pretend everything is great?” I looked up at him with giant eyes of wonder and revelation. I have been incredibly sad lately, because 2015 is dumb. Honestly, I hadn’t even thought about what I was painting in those terms, but he was exactly right. I need to give myself permission to be sad. I don’t need to dress it up, for myself or anyone else. I’m sad.