I think I hate my boss.
This is not an unusual feeling, I realize, but since I’m self-employed, it is a little awkward. I don’t hate myself. You don’t need to pass me the number for a crisis counseling center, I swear. I only hate my superego, which is such a special kind of asshat that I will insist on calling it an ass chapeau.
Allow me to explain.
This week, I finished up an order for The Addams Family and shipped them off to a customer in Australia. That was cool. The chapeau had nothing substantive to say, because I just packed them up, shipped them out, and moved on with my to-do list.
What seems to upset the chapeau is when I feel especially proud of something I’ve done. After I finished the Addams Family, I sat down and started designing some brand new crocheted stuffies for a woman in Tennessee. After several weeks of not designing, I felt positively giddy about creating again. On top of that, these were my first set of crochet minis, and I considered them to be invaluable research and practice for the Big Lebowski stuffies I’m dying to make. You may or may not have seen the show on which they’re based – namely, the geekalicious Stargate SG1 – but hopefully you can understand why I was excited about them when I share these pictures:
Super cute little Stargate SG1 set, right?! Yeah. That’s what I thought, too – and that’s when the chapeau went into OVERDRIVE. He called me into his office, held up the rest of my to-do list, and demanded to know who I thought I was being all proud of myself when I had so many things still demanding my attention. He brought up every last obligation I had, from commissions to a birthday dinner last night to some gifts I have to make in May for a gift swap. I mean . . . May! Come on! On and on he thundered, and when I got tired and left his office, he followed me to bed, where he continued to yell at me. He was still at it when I woke up this morning. I wish I could sue him for invading my bedroom, but that’s the problem – he sleeps there, too.
I don’t know what book I need to read to get this guy to calm down, but if you have suggestions, I’ll take them! Meanwhile, I have the pattern for the SG1 team in my shop, along with the crocheted figures, which in my opinion make an awesomely nerdy present.
Just don’t tell the chapeau I said so.